ACC Excerpt

But one particular day, Henry had a somewhat complicated experience. He had awoken to the day as always, with his brain barely intact and his liver screaming for a replacement. He rose and repeated his favorite saying: “Shit! Yo, Yeah. Just waking up in the morning, gotta thank God”, and watched as his servants stared at him in complete and total disgust. His propensity for dealing in anachronistic sayings had led to a deep mistrust of him in the commoners. However, this day was to turn out ‘kinda odd’, but for less positive reasons than one mister Frozen Water Square had described.

Stepping out of his lavishly appointed room, filled with finest silks and other textiles that only capitalist pigs could afford, the harsh light of God's love, or in this case, God's UV rays, hit Henry in the face as usual, causing his brain to immediately log a complaint with itself. Standing on his balcony, he stared lovingly across his father's estate, comfortable in the knowledge that there was no possible way that his life could at all be upended by some unforeseen catastrophe, why, that would take the work of a madman in only the worst stories of fiction.

There was no possible way that Henry was ever going to die, because whoever had written the story of his life wanted him to face absolutely no hardships, see no growth and stay exactly the same as he began his story; a drunk, philandering, borderline sociopath who would have sex with anything as long as it had the appropriate parts to accommodate. Who would stop him? Certainly not I, the narrator, who at this point in the story would never wish to harm a hair on poor Henry's head.